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Dear
Chuck,
I am in a serious relationship, but I tend to think negative…so my
thoughts are on what would happen if it doesn’t work out? I hear
that divorce is more common now in Christian marriages than in the
world. I don’t know if I want to take this risk. Could you give me
an overview of your thoughts on divorce please.
Chuck's
Response
A very controversial subject,
but I’ll jump in and see what happens. This divorce thing is quite
clear I believe from a scriptural standpoint, but agonizing to put
it into real lives. In Matthew 19:9 Jesus said that there was only
ONE grounds for divorce…and that was adultery by a mate. Some
people use First Corinthians 7:15-16 as an excuse for
divorce….where it says that if a non Christian wants to
leave…let him or her leave…and the other person is not under
bondage.
- I
believe the “bondage” means that the Christian does not have
to change their spiritual commitment just to keep the non
Christian around. If the non Christian begins to commit habitual
adultery or gets married, then that frees the other person to
get married again. I think if there had been more than one
grounds Jesus would have said it, but He didn’t. From the
context of other scriptures I suggest that even though divorce
is reluctantly allowed for habitual adultery, I think God is
better served by forgiveness and reconciliation. Of course when
a wife’s life is in danger she should either get a restraining
order or leave the home herself…but it still is not grounds
for divorce unfortunately. If I had written the Bible I would
have included physical, verbal and mental abuse, abandonment,
financial irresponsibility, drug and alcohol addictions, and
being a non-Christian as grounds for dissolving the marriage
bond, but I don’t see that in Scripture. Usually the abusive
husband is not a Christian, so it is unrealistic to think that
he has the power of the Holy Spirit in his life to do the right
thing.
- Often
I suggest the woman give God some time to touch the husband’s
heart. Even if the husband is away from the home with a
girlfriend, I suggest the wife wait. If the husband divorces his
wife…then of course this breaks the marriage bond…but even
then I always recommend the woman wait until he remarries to
have another relationship. I know this sounds like I am putting
all the burden on the woman, and I guess I am because she is
usually the one who knows Jesus Christ personally and has the
strength to endure the pain in order to help others going
through the same problem later. (2 Cor 1:3-5). These are some of
my thoughts on the subject. Be sure to get back to me if you
want to talk further.
- Chuck
Snyder
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