|
Dear
Chuck
I am having difficulty handling something. My boyfriend and I have
been together for 2 years. During that time he's had an online
married Christian woman friend he has continued to talk to. She
lives in another state and they've never seen each other. He says
she's happily married. I still don't like it. He's often said
"A man and a woman cannot be just friends, but this is
different." He doesn't like it when I talk about men I've
worked with or previous boyfriends. I've told him the friendship
bothers me, yet he says "I'm not giving up my friends, for
anyone." I'm really insecure about it even though he tells me,
"We've never talked about a romantic relationship. Yet he keeps
talking to her.
I
suppose the part that concerns me most is that my ex-husband had an
affair. My boyfriend's Father also had an affair before he left his
wife and married his mistress.
I've
tried keeping quiet about their friendship, but it just upsets my
stomach. I would appreciate some guidance from a man's perspective
and maybe even some scriptural references to pray about it.
Chuck's
Response
Thanks
for the note about your boyfriend and his female pen pal. This is
going to be hard to hear, but please read these words with as much
love and compassion as I can put in an email.
A
man is usually on his best behavior in a dating situation. When I
met my wife Barb at college, I would go all the way across campus to
walk her TWO DOORS to her next class. Where she was, I wanted to be.
All of my thoughts were about her and our possible future together
and getting to know each other and sharing our lives. Another woman
would be the farthest thought from my mind.
The
very fact that your boyfriend is insensitive to your feelings now
are HUGE BIG GIGANTIC RED FLAGS. If this is the best you'll get, I
would hate to see what happens if you were to marry him, especially
with the role model he has had. If he wont give up his friends for
you now, you can almost bet that he would have some women friends in
his life after the marriage ceremony. I suggest you RUN RUN RUN RUN
RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN from this relationship
before you get terribly hurt. These are just some thoughts for your
consideration. Let me know if you want to talk further.
- Chuck
Snyder
|
