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Dear
Chuck
I am very torn
about a particular issue I am facing right now. My husband's parents
are very generous and enjoy giving him extreme gifts. They know he
has been wanting a top-notch computer, and they have just offered to
purchase half for his birthday, and let us pay back the other half
over a year. I have a problem with them doing this. I feel like my
husband and I should make the decision of when the right time is to
buy a computer, and I feel like we should face the challenge
ourselves of being responsible with money and earning it on our own.
I don't know if I should go against what I feel and just say
"yes" since I know they are just trying to bless him.
Also, before this situation occurred, I was reading a book that
advised couples not to take loans from in-laws, and to be careful of
how much influence parents can have on your marriage. Please help.
Chuck's
Response
Thanks
for the note about your in-laws and their proposed gift to your
husband. You have to take into consideration that I will be
answering as an in-law and a father and a grandfather (which makes
things even worse in the giving department). I don't see this gift
or any gift they offer as an intrusion into your marriage or family
sovereignty. I look at this as an expression of love for their son.
They probably wanted to pay for the whole thing, but showed
restraint by doing the "pay back" thing. You would be
offending them unnecessarily by refusing this gift of love. I would
accept it with extreme gratitude. I see no downside in the least.
These are my thoughts. Be sure to let me know if you want to talk
further.
Chuck
Snyder |
