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Dear
Chuck
Almost two years ago, I married a man who stated he was born again
and that he loved me more than "life." And I believed him.
A week into our marriage he left me and was gone for about two
weeks. When he came back he apologized and promised not to leave me
again. Well, two weeks later he was gone again, and he has continued
to do so through out these two years.
Everyone
around me, including my pastor says to divorce him. The problem with
that is, it's not in my heart to do so! I chose to love him
unconditionally and to walk in forgiveness -- no one understands
this, and they think I've lost my mind. My covenant with my husband
is very important to me, and I do not desire a divorce.
A
week ago, when I was taking a shower, I had a vision and I saw my
husband lying in a hospital bed and I was by his side. A strong fear
came over me, and I fell to the shower floor and started praying for
my husband's salvation. Two days ago while I was working on my
computer it happened again.
I
want to know, is this God trying to warn me of something that is
going to happen? Please, help me to understand. I love my husband
and I forgive him, but what should I do? What should I believe?
Chuck's
Response
I felt so sad reading the note about your husband. I am so
impressed that you want to make it work in spite of his
traveling ways. I don't blame you for feeling abandoned and worried
about your husband's life. Does he ever tell you where he is going
or where he's been? In the meantime, here are my thoughts on dreams
and visions. I believe God has not promised to tell us the
future, and I don't even think it would be helpful for Him to do
that. I think James nicely sets the principle for us:
Look
here, you people who say, "Today or tomorrow we are going to
such and such a town, stay there a year, and open up a profitable
business." How do you know what is going to happen tomorrow?
For the length of your lives is as uncertain as the morning fog --
now you see it; soon it is gone. What you ought to say is, "If
the Lord wants us to, we shall live and do this or that."
Otherwise you will be bragging about your own plans, and such
self-confidence never pleases God. (James 4:13-16 Living)
On
the other hand, I firmly and passionately believe that God speaks to
our spirit loud and clear, and gives us definite directions about
some of the things He wants us to do. I'm just saying that I don't
believe God always gives us the final destination. I guess I go back
to Proverbs where it says that "men and women make their plans
but God directs the path." This implies to me, at least,
that decision-making is a process. We make our plans even
believe we know whom we are going to marry, or where we are going to
move, but God decides the final outcome. He speaks to our
heart and gives us light for the next step.
I
can't think of one reason why God would want us to know the final
destination in advance. First of all, that would cancel out the need
for faith. We would just do this in our own strength, based on a
vision or "word" from the Lord. As I say, I can't think of
one reason why God would want us to know the future. What it would
do is puff us up with self-importance.
First
of all, pray for your husband's salvation. There is no way he is a
born-again, true, sold-out, dedicated disciple of Jesus Christ. You
were deceived, and I am so sorry. He might have your faith, or a
church's faith, or his parents' faith, but the Bible I'm reading
says that we will know someone is a true Christian by their love,
not abuse.
I
try to look at the trials that come into my life as a cross-stitch
picture. When I look at the situation from underneath, there is a
mish-mash of colors and nothing makes sense. But when I get on top
of the picture where God views it, I see a beautiful barn or a
soothing mountain scene. What I need to do is get on top of
my circumstances and see them as God sees them. He allows me to go
through them to strengthen me, and He really does have a purpose.
You are in an impossible situation, but my God is the God of the
impossible, and I'm praying that He will make Himself very real to
you right now.
You
have to give your husband up to God and continue praying for him.
I'll be praying too that God will bring someone into his life who
can introduce him to Jesus Christ in a real way. Let's keep in touch
so I can walk with you through this difficult situation.
Chuck
Snyder |
