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Dear
Chuck
I felt I had a big calling on my life, was involved in ministry and
was trying to give to everyone. Then I moved overseas (because I
felt that God wanted me to) and everything went wrong. I lived alone
in a dump, I cannot express how stressful my work was (except to
say, I'm the only one there who didn't have a nervous breakdown), I
couldn't find a church that was a home and I got cancer.
Then
a friend came along -- a non-Christian. We started a relationship,
and I fell in love with him big time. I slept with him. I'm still in
love with him. He's been through a lot with me. But I'm so hurt and
down about this. I used to preach against it. I prayed all the time
that my future husband would fall in love with my holiness and my
heart for God. But now will He call someone else to do my job? How
can I ever offer purity again? Should I never marry now I have
married myself with this man?
My
other problem is that I looked for God. I tried churches. I called
help lines. I asked my friends to pray for me. I sat alone and
stared at the walls every night and prayed for hours. I fasted. Why
is it that friends who haven't sought God like this remain happy and
blessed -- while I'm in a living hell? Help me, please,
Chuck's
Response
God
has asked you to carry some heavy burdens but there is payday coming
one of these times, and you'll have a treasure house of wonderful
blessings from God for all your pain down here on earth. I know it
doesn't feel like it, but pain really is a blessing in disguise. I
would not be writing to you if Barb and I had had a perfect
marriage. It is only through my MISTAKES that I can be of help to
someone else. Sure, you made a mistake with your non-Christian
friend, but I want to make sure you know what God does with our sins
when we ask His forgiveness with a broken heart. HE FORGETS THEM.
Here are some scriptures that talk about this.
"He
has removed our sins as far away from us as the east is from the
west." Psalm 103:12 (Living)
North
and south meet at some point. If you go north for awhile, eventually
you will begin to go south because of our round earth. However, if
you go east you'll ALWAYS be going east. Or if you go west, you'll
ALWAYS be going west. The two will never meet.
"Repent
ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out,
when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the
Lord." Acts 3:19 (KJV)
"
and blotted out the charges proved against you, the list of his
commandments which you had not obeyed. He took this list of sins and
destroyed it by nailing it to Christ's cross." Colossians 2:14
(Living)
"For
God was in Christ, restoring the world to himself, no longer
counting men's sins against them but blotting them out. This is the
wonderful message he has given us to tell others." 2
Corinthians 5:19 (Living)
You're
probably too young to remember blotters, but we used to use pen and
ink in school. We would blot the ink to keep it from smearing,
because it dried slowly. However if you blotted it TOO quickly, you
took all the ink away. God's "blotter" erased all of our
sins.
"I
will never again remember their sins and lawless deeds when sins
have once been forever forgiven and forgotten, there is no need to
offer more sacrifices to get rid of them." Hebrews 10:17-18
(Living)
"And
I will be merciful to them in their wrongdoing, and I will remember
their sins no more." Hebrews 8:12 (Living)
I
take God at His Word when the Bible says He will never remember our
sins anymore. They are forever out of His memory. What a gift that
is.
"It
was good for me to go through all of this bitterness. You have
delivered me from death, and have put all of my sins behind Your
back." Isaiah 38:17
I
love the picture of God reaching around and putting my sins behind
His back where He can't get at them. There are many other scriptures
that imply that our sins have been covered by Christ's blood and
thrown in the deepest sea. God forgives our mistakes, so we can
forgive others for their mistakes as well, and help them go on.
Now
you are as pure as the purest snow in God's eyes. He has nailed your
past, present and future sins to the cross forever. You are free to
marry a Christian man anytime God brings him along. The reason your
friends are "happy and blessed" is because they probably
are not as open as you are to learning. There are all sorts of women
in your situation who need someone to come along and say, "I
know how you feel."
See
if there are any women's Bible studies around that you could join. I
recommend Kay Arthur's Precept upon Precept. I don't know if there
are groups in your country or not, but you could get information at info@precept.org.
I'm afraid that most churches don't know how to comfort. You now can
hold your head up high and watch for other women who are hurting,
and minister to them as you have time. I'll also be asking God to
bring Mr. Right along soon. Thanks for writing.
Chuck
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